Where to begin; mixed emotions.

hmmmmm. Where to begin. Well for starters, I'm on a roller coaster of feelings right now! So, blanket statement is, "I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL"!!!! Should I do this in list form? One rambling paragraph? Let's see what happens. Stay with me y'all.

• So this week is midterms. I feel strangely okay with this (which is scary, am I missing something? do I have all the material to study?). So nerves are beginning to pick up about this but they're tolerable/average.
• "Ma" (my grandmother) was taken to ER yesterday as y'all can read in previous update from Mom and doing very well today, hopefully being released this evening. So understandable mix of emotions there. Scary and also relieving.
• Missing my friends, missing home. Haven't been able to talk to my friend Bailee in a while and I have no communication with Zack (best guy-friend) while he is doing basic training with the Navy. But at the same time I'm obviously very proud of him, and missing his friendship.
• So found out this morning I did not receive enough student loans to cover the cost of housing, so I spent the morning applying for outside loans. Think this process went well and things should be covered soon. Maybe I should note that I am being as independent as possible (hence the reason I am doing full student loans), only asking my parents to cosign or have a loan in their name as I repay it. This process, which I refer to as "being a big-girl", is an insane roller coaster ride. It's a crazy mix of feelings that can only be described as independence,terror,and confidence.
• My mommy is awesome and is my best friend. I initially hesitated to call this morning with some questions while filling out my loan info for fear that I would stress her out. But no, she was perfect and encouraging and helpful as always.
• Oh and of course a shout out to my amazing boyfriend of two-and-a-half years, Rory for just always being able to calm me down and help me work through this roller coaster. Sometimes I just need a hug and my best friend to make me laugh. He's found out about the secret I thought only my mom could see; my eyes turn emerald green when I'm crying or trying to hold a cry/anxiety attack back. 

How did I do? Were y'all able to follow along?