The Stanford Rape case. There is SO MUCH wrong with this scenario. I find it disgusting. The victim is being made to look guilty, the criminal is being coddled. It is NOT just a drinking culture, a party culture, or....in my opinion....even a sex culture. It is a mess so chaotic that I can't begin to speak to all that angers me. BUT, the father indicating that his son is being punished for 20 minutes of action....? Seriously? In 20 minutes, his son started drinking (WHILE UNDERAGE), behaving inappropriately, and then decided to rape an unconscious woman? Why did this kid think it was ok to drink? Why did he think it was ok to behave the way he did, even if he DID have consent? I'll bet that his dad was well aware of his drinking and most likely made inappropriate jokes in front of him about partying with women. I don't say this because I believe all dads do this. I say this because the man who wrote the letter in defense of his son.....is missing something in his own character to even consider saying the things he said.
Something very few people will tell you...try as we may as parents, we CANNOT control you kids. This was proven with the often repeated story of me calling Ma for guidance when you were a three-year-old:
Me: Mom! What do I do? She won't behave. She is screaming for no reason, throwing her toys, back talking.....
Ma: Honey! Put that child in her room! And make her stay there!
Me: Ok, mom. Let me do that.
{I lay the phone down so Ma can hear the interaction}
{I swat your rear-end and put you in your room, and CLOSE THE DOOR}
{I pick up phone}
Ma: See? That worked, didn't it?
Me: MOM? SHE IS STANDING RIGHT HERE HITTING MY LEG AND MAKING FACES AT ME!
See, child? We cannot control you. We cannot control your brother. We can only try to impart our wisdom and pray you will be good people. And I will support you emotionally for the rest of our lives. BUT...you are responsible for your decisions. You are responsible for your behavior. I swear to you I will not make excuses for you. I will not make excuses because doing so will only harm you further. I hope I have raised you (and will continue to raise you) to take responsibility. And yes, I will continue to raise you until death do us part.
Ok. The other thing is the warning I sent you about some company that allegedly tries to lure young adults with promise of a job and then gives them knock out drops in their water. This brings to mind the entire kidnapping lecture. What can I say? Trust your gut, child. You are like me in the sense that we do not like to hurt feelings. We are relatively kind people. But if you feel you are being compromised, or you just sense something is wrong....leave. If you are completely wrong and someday the person you were rude to ends up to be a friend....laugh about the situation. And don't drink things people you don't know give to you. Ever. And that leads me to....always keep some cash with you. Something you can buy a water bottle with.
I could go on and on about demanding respect in relationships. However, I have full trust that Buford treats you right. He'd better! I know where he lives. You will, however, run into people who will not respect you as a female. Co-workers, bosses, strangers on the street. You have the right to stand up for yourself...and not take any crap off of anybody just because you are a female. In all honesty, you will have to work with jerks...even have jerks as bosses....and sometimes you will have to tolerate it. But you should never have to be in a compromising situation for the sole reason that you are a woman. No job is worth that.
I'm babbling now. I will close this with a giraffe. To make you smile! I love you, droplet!
